Everything had taken on a pleasant, slightly blurred appearance, and Surka appreciated it- why, the lights were so much more
interesting that way- but as soon as she started moving, she realized that this was a
problem. The blurring also seemed to induce a split-second delay; Kallyse started to help her along, and she felt it, but her vision registered it a little too late to be quite synchronized.
All her attention, therefore, was focused on getting one foot in front of the other without stepping on anyone. That is, it was until she bumped into someone and that blasted shock jerked her attention back to her surroundings.
It was
that girl. Ukon. She turned and glared at the blonde girl, solidly resisting Kallyse's ladylike tugs and Nobyl's more persistent efforts as easily as a hulking boulder in a stream.
"
You." All Surka's rage, anger, fear, and sense of helplessness was packed into the tiny syllable, somehow drawn out and slurred slightly. "Don'
touch moi." It didn't occur to her that Surka, herself, was probably more responsible for bumping into Ukon.
It was interesting, the next few seconds. The big girl's vision narrowed to just that girl, the one she hated for no reason. Her hand, which had picked apples and suckled baby goats and had once broken a nasty boy's nose, much to his surprise and her relief, clenched itself into a fist and, seemingly of its own accord, found its way forcefully into Ukon's face.
Surka finished the swing, watched the skinny girl go down, crumpling on the floor.
All the anger drained out of her, at that. This was no fair fight- this was her, Surka, acting like a tyrant and using her strength for nothing good, hurting a girl that she should have just let alone.
Ukon seemed terribly still, like a broken bird.
With a strangled cry, Surka turned and fled, stumbling between people (as well as she could) and ran through the doors into the night.
She went through the gates that were open still for newcomers, ignoring the cry of the startled gateman. Surka followed the road for a while, then dove into the woods.
It was a mixed forest, with very old trees interspersed with young ones and brush. She slowed, not wanting, even in her frightened, near-hysterical state, to fall and break an ankle in these unfamiliar woods.
The moon was bright, and so it was not all gloomy. Surka fell into the rhythm of finding the clearest way, brushing the branches aside, and walking forward another few paces. After a time, she heard the sound of water and headed for it.
She came into a clearing, dominated by a huge old oak tree. The stream she saw glinting at the far side, and she went and knelt by it, cupping the cold, bitter water in her hands to wash the poisonous warmth from her mouth and belly. She sat back on her heels at its side.
"Whut've Oi dun?" she whispered, pressing her hands to her brow, as if it would make the answers come clear. What had made her so angry, so stupid to hit that girl?
How badly had she hurt her?
Oh,
stars, what if she had
killed that girl? A cold wind rushed at her back, as if to accuse her, and she hugged herself. Her belly roiled, and her guts clenched. Was that girl dead? Surka didn't even know how hard she had hit her; all she had been conscious of was the red joy she took from hitting the other girl.
It was as if there had been a second Surka, one who hated and hated and liked nothing better than to hurt. A monster, a bogey.
"Oi'm
not a monster," she whispered. But what if it was true? What if that angry Surka
was the real one?
What if-
A wolf's cry cut across her thoughts, joined by another and another.
A cold hand gripped her heart- as much as she knew that wolves rarely hurt people, she always had been afraid of them.
The howl sounded again, closer. Were they following her trail? Oh,
stars, how far away were they?
"Be
calm, Surka girl. Gett'n oop off yer hind an' find shelter." Her voice shook, but it worked; she broke her paralysis and got up. "Gud- now find a.." Oh! The tree. She could go there, she'd be safe-
Another howl, too close. She ran, yanking up her good skirts, and plunged across the grassy meadow. A rabbit burst away, into the woods. Heedless, she leaped up to the lowest branch. She reached for the other, scrambled up. The motions came easily to her, and the next moment she found herself twenty-five feet into the air, without quite remembering the in-between.
There was another howl- was it more distant? An excited yip- probably that rabbit.
Nerves jangling, she wedged herself into the fork of the branches, eyes wide, thoughts still, entirely tensed.
The wind found her, blew through her clothes, down to her core.
----------------------------
This is the big old tree: